Written by Here is another deep dive question that you can take in any direction you feel it leads you. For me, it was time to start getting to the heart of what I was doing and why. This next lesson started the true healing beyond learning my favorite color or what I wanted to do with my life, this next question changed everything.
What do I want to change?
This question can be surface level, but for me, I took the opportunity to be honest with myself. For example, lets say, I need to lose five pounds. So that is what I want to change. However, I am not willing to exercise, eat less, or make any other changes that could lead to a five pound weigh loss. Until you can really name what you want to change and fiercely resolve to do so, it’s just a wish. It’s time to be honest because wishing never changed anything.
Your Assignment:
What do I want to change?
Sit with this question for a while before you start to answer. Let it flow from you to the paper once it’s ready.
My Writings:
I want to stop being scared. I’ve let fear set in so deep that it has become part of me. Maybe it’s not fear. Maybe it’s another word. Maybe, shame.
What do I have to be ashamed of? From being a girl, keeping secrets, feeling violated, unprotected, hopeless, taking the blame, but I can’t fix anything. I absorb the energies, thoughts, and ideas of others. They become part of me. I absorb their shame along with mine.
I’m a transmuter that doesn’t know the second part. So I absorb, hold it, but don’t transmute and release. This is what I need to change. I’m holding the negative energy of a lifetime of people. I need to learn how to transmute properly and efficiently.
3 Things I will do differently:
- I will release what doesn’t belong to me. Emotionally, mentally, physically- I will no longer accept the weight of others and their actions.
- I will learn my power. I will no longer allow it to be dimmed or destroyed. I am a child of the King and have the power of Heaven on Earth.
- I will not allow trespassers into my soul. Its the inner sacred part of this temple and no one, not permitted by God, may enter, and certainly not take up residence.
I am a daughter of the King- it’s time I acted like it.
-This post is short, but said a lot in the way of acknowledging how damaging it is to hold the secrets of all the pain I went through in my life. When someone abuses you, you generally keep it a secret. And with no release, this turns into shame, guilt, self-loathing, and eventually sickness.
